Yayagom Church: 5월 2025

Prayer Is Not a Magic Incantation for Answers

Having been a Christian for a long time, I can understand your feeling that the teachings on prayer have been primarily focused on "getting answers." While the belief that God will grant all prayers can be a powerful motivator, it also carries the risk of turning prayer into a mere tool for obtaining what we want. Let's explore what the Bible truly says about prayer and how the church teaches it, to better understand the essential meaning of prayer.

The Principles of Prayer in the Bible

The Bible emphasizes that prayer is not just an act of getting what we want, but a process of building a deep relationship with God.

Answers According to God's Will: The Bible says that God listens to our prayers, but He doesn't always answer in the way we want. Instead, He gives us what is best according to His wisdom and plan (1 John 5:14-15).
Faith and Perseverance: Prayer must be offered in faith with the conviction that it will be answered (Matthew 21:22). We are also taught to pray with persistence and not give up (Luke 18:1-8).
Prayer for God's Glory: Our prayers should not be for our own selfish desires, but for the purpose of bringing glory to God (John 14:13).
Help of the Holy Spirit: When we don't know how to pray, the Holy Spirit helps us and guides us to pray according to God's will (Romans 8:26-27).

Church Teachings and the Reality of Prayer

Based on the Bible, the church teaches that answered prayer is entirely subject to God's sovereignty and can come in many different forms. An answer might not be exactly what we asked for; it might be something better, or it might come in a different way. Sometimes, an answer may be delayed or even denied. The church also teaches that prayer itself is beneficial, strengthening our faith and leading to spiritual growth through communion with God.

However, in reality, prayer is often taught like an "Aladdin's lamp" ritual. The belief that God will grant wishes if we present them well has reduced prayer to a transactional tool. This is why a lot of prayers in Korean churches can sound like a child's repeated demands, "Give me this, give me that."

Unlike Zacchaeus, who promised to change his life, we often find ourselves questioning God, "Why aren't you answering me? You must answer!"

Repentance Without Forgiveness Is Empty

One reason our lives don't change, even after we reflect and repent each week, is the lack of a life of forgiveness. We get angry easily at work, at home, and with those close to us. Before getting angry, we need to practice forgiving the other person first. Forgiveness isn't just about asking for it. If someone makes you angry, it's enough to simply declare, whether they hear you or not, "I forgive you."

After doing this a few times, you will understand the true meaning of the prayer Jesus taught in the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." You will come to see that prayer is not just an act of getting answers but a deep spiritual discipline that transforms our hearts and lives.

Forgiveness Is a Gift to Yourself

"Forgive them." How many times have you heard this phrase in your life? Or how often have you asked yourself this question? Forgiveness can feel like a homework assignment or an unreachable state of being. But because of its heavy weight and daunting nature, we often stop short when confronted with the word "forgiveness."

The dictionary defines forgiveness as "to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake." However, the forgiveness we experience is a much more complex and subtle emotional realm. Is forgiveness simply deciding to "forget about it"? Can we only forgive if we can "understand" the other person's actions?

We find forgiveness difficult to the same degree as the depth of our wounds and our pride. Feelings like anger, injustice, and a desire for revenge slam shut the doors of our hearts. Sometimes, forgiving can feel like "losing" or "making light of the other person's wrongdoing." But true forgiveness is never about that.

Forgiveness Is Healing for Yourself, Not for the Offender

What we need to remember is that forgiveness is not an act for the offender, but a process of healing for yourself. Time spent harboring resentment and trapped in anger ultimately makes our own hearts sick. Forgiveness is a noble act of putting down that heavy emotional burden and liberating yourself from suffering.

Of course, the path to forgiveness is never easy. Sometimes you may have to navigate a whirlwind of intense emotions. It is a completely natural process to feel anger, grief, and sometimes a renewed sense of resentment. The important thing is to be honest with those feelings, but not to get lost in them, and to move forward slowly.

Small Attempts to Open a Closed Door

So, how can we begin this journey of forgiveness?

The first step for you: First, you must recognize that this entire process is ultimately a choice for your own benefit. Ask yourself if you want to live in pain, trapped by past wounds, or if you want to be free through forgiveness.
A small piece of understanding: While you may not be able to fully understand the other person's actions, trying to understand their background or situation, even just a little, can be a starting point for forgiveness. This is not about justifying their wrongdoings, but about practicing looking at the situation from multiple angles.
Honest confrontation with your emotions: It's important to honestly face and express repressed feelings of anger, sadness, or hurt without avoiding them. Writing in a journal or talking to a trusted person are good ways to do this.
A small whisper in your heart: If it's too difficult to say "I forgive you" to the other person, you can start by quietly saying it to yourself in your heart. This small act can slowly begin to open the closed door of your heart.
Find your own way: There is no single correct way to forgive. You can write a letter to process your emotions, spend time alone to calm your heart, or sometimes seek professional help. Find a method that works for you and take it one step at a time.

Forgiveness: The Noble Power That Transforms Lives

Forgiveness is not a magic trick that happens instantly. It can take a long time and requires constant effort. But at the end of it, a wonderful transformation awaits. The peace of mind you gain from putting down the heavy emotional burden, the freedom to live fully in the present without being bound by past hurts, and the growth into a more mature version of yourself. This is the precious gift that forgiveness offers us.

Remember. Forgiveness is not for the other person; it is the most beautiful gift you can give yourself. Now, how about you try to find that small key that can open the closed door of your heart?